Dirty pick up lines
that feel like a secret,
not like a script.

I'd help you with anything tonight. Anything anything. (That's flirting.)

My calendar's clear next weekend. Just letting you know. No reason at all.

Are you a thunderstorm? Because I had plans, but I'd cancel them for you.

My plans for this evening are flexible. Very, very flexible.

I'm terrible at starting things. I'm much better at finishing them.

You look like you're good with your hands. At... building things, I assume.

I have a very comfortable couch and no plans. Just thought that was relevant information.

Are you the reason my phone is suddenly so warm? Or is that just me?

I am officially accepting applications for a partner in crime. The crime is staying in.

I could use a distraction. You look like a very effective one.

I'm great at following instructions, if you have any for me tonight.

We should do something later. Or sooner. I'm not picky.

I'm having a boring night. Can you come over and make it less boring?

I have a lot of free time for the right kind of wrong activities.

I'm a great navigator. I could definitely help you find your way to my number.

If we were playing hide and seek, I'd want you to find me. Immediately.

Quick question — what are you doing tonight? Asking for two reasons.

Be honest, are you the kind of person who'd cancel plans for the right text?

I have a suggestion for tonight. It's a slightly-bad suggestion. Want to hear it?

What are the odds you're also looking for an excuse to cancel your Friday night plans?

So, are we going to make small talk, or just get straight to me giving you my number?

Hypothetically, if I asked you out for tonight, what would your answer be?

Do you think it's too forward to suggest we get off this app immediately?

What's the biggest risk you've taken this week? Want to top it by replying?

If I were to suggest a spontaneous adventure right now, would you be in?

Do you have any plans you'd be happy to have me interrupt?

So, what's your excuse for not already having my number?

Can you help me with a problem? I can't seem to get your profile off my screen.

Is it too soon to start planning our weekend, or should I play it cool for another five minutes?

Are you any good at making the first move, or should I just handle it from here?

I'm being direct — your profile is the highlight of my day, and my evening, possibly tomorrow.

I had a polite opener prepared. Going with the less-polite version. Hi.

Your photos are doing things to my afternoon I didn't plan for. Reasonable things. Hi.

You seem like the answer to 'what should I do this Friday night?

You have the kind of energy I've been looking for. What are you doing with it tonight?

You look like someone who is fun to make bad decisions with.

You have a profile that just made my entire day. Your turn to make my night.

You look like you're about to make my week a lot less boring.

You seem like the perfect partner for a crime. The crime is skipping work for coffee.

You seem like you'd be worth the trouble. Am I right?

You have a way of looking at the camera that's... effective. Very effective.

You look like the best thing that's happened to my phone all year.

Confession — I've thought about your profile more than is statistically reasonable. The thoughts have been reasonable. Mostly.

Random confession — I rewrote this four times. The previous three were filthier. This is the polite version.

I had a perfectly clean opener prepared. This one is less clean. Hi.

Full disclosure: I've had your profile open for ten minutes and I'm still flustered.

I'll be honest, my first thought was something completely inappropriate. My second was hi.

I have to admit, I'm way more interested in you than I'm trying to appear.

I'm not going to lie, I've already imagined three of our potential first dates.

Okay, I'll just say it: your profile is a major distraction. A very welcome one.

I'm just gonna confess: you're so my type it's actually ridiculous.

I'm aware leading with this is slightly inappropriate. The slight inappropriateness IS the move.

Disclaimer — I tend to send the cheekier version. This is that version.

I had four polite openers. None felt right. So you get the slightly dirty one.

I'm just going to be forward and hope you find it charming. Hi.

Let's skip the three days of texting. I'm free Thursday.

I'm supposed to write something witty. Is 'let's get a drink' witty enough?

I'm skipping the boring opener and going straight to the part where I'm interested.