Freaky pick up lines
that know they're a little weird,
and send it anyway.

I have a weird feeling about you. It's a good weird feeling. Hi.

Are you a thunderstorm? Because I had plans, but I'd cancel them for you.

I'd help you with anything tonight. Anything anything. (That's flirting.)

You look like the kind of trouble I've been told to stay away from. I'm not great at listening.

So what's the plan for tonight, besides showing up in my thoughts uninvited?

You seem like the kind of person who could get me to try hiking. I strongly dislike hiking.

I'm usually very productive, but my focus seems to have misplaced itself somewhere on your profile.

Are you free for a conversation that might slightly derail both our evenings in a good way?

I feel like you'd be really good at winning board games. And I'm very, very competitive.

That smile looks like it's caused some very good, very fun problems for people.

I was going to wait for you to message me, but patience isn't one of my virtues.

I'm trying to decide if you're more 'charming' or 'up to no good.' I'm leaning towards both.

You look like you could ruin my plans for the next six months. I'm oddly okay with that potential.

Let's get the boring small talk out of the way so we can get to the interesting stuff.

I feel like our combined weirdness would be a formidable force. A force for good, probably.

You have a very specific energy. It's the 'I bet they are a great secret-keeper' kind.

Disclaimer: I'm being slightly chaotic on purpose. Hi.

I'm being a lot right now. Reasonably a lot. Reply if you're up for it.

I have decided we should chaos-bond. The chaos is me. Are you in?

I'm skipping the small talk and going straight to this: we should meet. My logic is flawless.

I've decided to be boldly awkward. So, hi. Your move. Don't leave me hanging.

This is me shooting my shot. If I miss, at least it was a confident, slightly unhinged shot.

My plan was to be smooth and mysterious. Plan B is to be direct. So, are you free Friday?

I'm foregoing the usual witty opener to tell you I'm officially interested. The ball is now in your court.

This is my one 'be a little too forward' message for the day. So, what are we doing this weekend?

I'm committing to this message with zero regrets. It's chaotic, but it's honest. What's your week look like?

I'm just going to put this out there: I'm way more charming in person. Care to test that theory?

My attempt at being coy failed miserably. You're cute, I'm cute, let's go do something about it.

This is the least edited message you'll get all day. It's pure, unfiltered interest. So, when are you free?

I am choosing chaos. This is me, being direct. Your profile is great, and I want to meet you.

Let's just fast-forward to the part where we've been talking for a week. So, how was your day?

I'm not good at waiting. So, are you going to ask for my number or should I just offer it?

This is me being impulsive. It usually works out. Let's not break my winning streak.

I'm abandoning all subtlety. I'm interested. Reply if the feeling is mutual and you're free this week.

I could pretend I just casually came across your profile. Or I could admit I'm intrigued. Drinks?

I'm picturing the version of us that's slightly unhinged at brunch. I'd lose at being normal first.

Calling it — you give off energy that suggests you can handle weird. I can be weird. Care to find out?

Your photos suggest you're as strange as you are attractive. That's a compliment. Hi.

That plant in your second photo looks extremely well-cared-for. This suggests you can keep things alive, a key dating skill.

Your dog looks like he has strong opinions about local politics. I'd like to hear them over a coffee.

The way you're holding that fish in your fourth picture implies a deep, spiritual bond. I'm impressed.

Your bio says you like hiking. My simulation of our first date involves getting slightly lost. It ends well though.

You're wearing a band t-shirt in one photo. I've already imagined us having a very serious argument over the aux cord.

The art on your wall is intensely interesting. It suggests we'd have weirdly profound conversations at 2 AM.

You're at a concert in one photo. You have 'will shout the wrong lyrics confidently' energy. I respect that.

That coffee cup in your hand has a face on it. I feel like it's silently judging me for messaging you.

The guitar in the background of your picture is giving me main character energy. Does it have a name?

The fact you're smiling in a picture taken mid-hike is deeply suspicious. Are you a highly advanced robot?

Your bio mentions puns. I'm alerting you now that I will absolutely weaponize this information against you.

You mentioned you like to cook. I'm already picturing you judging my very questionable kitchen habits.

The sunglasses you're wearing in your first picture are so powerful, I think they just saw into my soul.

Your friend in that group photo looks exactly like you, but with a hat. Is that your secret, more stylish twin?

The statue you're posing with looks deeply unimpressed. I, on the other hand, am very impressed.

This message is sus, I'm aware. I'm choosing to send it. The choice IS the brand.

I'd say something normal but where's the fun in that. Hi.

Sending this with chaotic-good energy. You up for it?

I swiped so fast I think I sprained my thumb. So you owe me a conversation, it's only fair.

I spent a respectable amount of time crafting this message. Please appreciate my effort by replying.

My bio is a work in progress, but my interest in your profile is a finished masterpiece.

I'm sending this message as a formal application to get to know you. My profile is my resume.

I'm not saying this is fate, but the app has never been wrong before. (It's almost always wrong.)

I'm officially submitting my bid to be your next 'we met on a dating app' story.

This is my one good message for the week, I hope you feel special. No pressure at all.

My friends said my opening lines were bad. I'm here to prove them wrong. Help me out. Hi.

The notification for this match was so exciting it startled my cat. Now you have to talk to me.

I'm supposed to be working, but I'm here composing this message instead. Your profile is very distracting.

We matched. According to my calculations, the next logical step is a witty back-and-forth.

I'm aware sending this is statistically a bad bet. The math doesn't account for whatever this energy is.

Disclaimer — I'm being a lot. The 'a lot' is on purpose. Hi.

I had four normal openers. None of them felt freaky enough. Hi anyway.

My brain ran about a hundred different opening line simulations. This weird one won. So, here we are.

I'm sending this message with the energy of someone who is way too confident this will work out.

This is my attempt at a 'memorable first impression.' The impression is mostly just... a lot. Hi.

This is probably not the smoothest line you'll get today, but it is definitely the most committed.

I'm choosing to interpret our match as a sign from the algorithm gods. They demand we talk.

I'm supposed to play it cool now, right? Right. Well, I'm skipping that step. Hi.

My thumb hovered over your profile for a weirdly long time. I decided to take that as a sign.