Cheesy pick up lines
that know they’re cheesy,
and commit to the bit.

Are you a coffee shop? Because I'd spend my whole morning in you.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Asking for science.

Are you a library card? Because I'd check you out.

Are you a flannel shirt? Because I'm completely wrapped up in you.

Are you an artist? Because you are really drawing me in.

Are you a hiking trail? Because you take my breath away and the view is spectacular.

Are you a pottery wheel? Because you have my head spinning in the best way.

Are you a cup of tea? Because you are absolute-tea-ly gorgeous.

Do you work at a hardware store? Because you are absolutely nailing that look.

Are you a tent? Because I'm having some in-tents feelings for you.

Are you a guitar? Because you're striking all the right chords with me.

Are you a documentary? Because I find you completely and utterly riveting.

Are you a bookmark? Because you're marking a brand new chapter for me.

Are you a succulent? Because I'd love to watch our relationship grow.

Do you like to garden? Because you've really planted one on me.

Are you a protest sign? Because you've got me wanting to make a stand with you.

Are you a wrench? Because you've really got my world turning.

Do you like constellations? Because I think our stars are finally aligning.

Are you a record player? Because you've got me spinning right 'round.

Are you my favorite cozy sweater? Because I never want to let you go.

Are you a u-haul? Because I'm getting carried away. (Self-aware.)

Are you a cardigan? Because I'd wear you out. (Cheesy.)

Are you golden hour? Because everything looks better with you in it.

Lez be honest, you are unbelievably cute.

Are you a historian? Because I want to be your roommate.

Are you a pride parade? Because you make my heart march to a whole new beat.

Are you a carabiner? Because I'm feeling very attached to you.

Are you my she/they pronouns? Because I would love to have you in my bio.

Do you have a green thumb? Because you are really starting to grow on me.

Are you a Home Depot? Because I can see myself building a future with you.

Are you my favorite indie artist? Because I'm your biggest fan.

Are you my cat? Because I can purr-fectly picture us cuddling on the couch.

Are you a Subaru? Because you've hauled my heart away.

Are you a chapstick? Because your profile is the balm.

Is your name Ashley? Because you're the only 'she' I see.

Are you a cottage? Because I've developed a huge crush on you.

Are you a perfectly worn-in flannel? Because you just feel right.

Are we at a Ani DiFranco concert? Because I feel a deep connection here.

Are you a Doc Marten? Because I am falling for you, head over heels.

Are you a Sunday morning? Because I'd never want to leave.

Your smile is the kind of cheesy I'd risk falling for.

If kindness were a person, your bio would be the audition.

You have a smile in your third photo that looks genuinely joyful.

You look like the person I'd want to find at a party and talk to all night.

You have a very gentle and calming presence, even just through your pictures.

You look like you're a really loyal and fiercely protective friend.

You have a sense of style that looks both incredibly cool and very comfortable.

You look like you would be amazing at building a cozy and warm campfire.

You have an artistic vibe that is really beautiful and so intriguing.

You look like the kind of person whose laugh could fill up an entire room.

You have a way of looking at the camera that feels so open and warm.

You seem like you have a perfectly curated playlist for every possible mood.

You look like you would be the most wonderful person to share a lazy Sunday with.

You have eyes that seem to hold so much warmth and intelligence in them.

You seem like someone who has so many beautiful stories to tell.

You look like you would give the best, most comforting hugs.

You have an energy that feels so kind and welcoming through the screen.

This is the cheesiest opener I have. Leading with it for honesty.

Disclaimer — the next line is bad. Are you a magician? Because everyone else just disappeared.

I had three sophisticated openers. I'm using the cheesy one.

I'm supposed to say something witty, but I'm too distracted by your profile.

I had a really clever opener planned, but my brain just malfunctioned. Hi.

My best pickup line is under construction. Please accept this 'hello' as a placeholder.

I will now perform my famous trick of being charmingly awkward. How are you?

I'm going to skip the cheesy line and just tell you I think you're amazing.

Prepare yourself for a truly awful pickup line. You ready? How's it going?

Okay, I'm just going to say it: you're so cute I forgot my planned opener.

This is my formal application to take you on a date, submitted with my worst line.

I googled 'good opening lines' and hated them all, so you get this instead.

I'm using my one 'get out of jail free' card for a terrible opener right now.

My smooth-talking skills are 404 Not Found. So, hi, I like your profile.

I'm just going to be embarrassingly upfront and say you seem really cool.

I promise I am way cooler than this incredibly awkward first message suggests.

I'm choosing to believe you're so stunning that my wit has temporarily abandoned me.

I'm dropping the pretense of being smooth. Your profile is genuinely fantastic.

I could pretend I'm too cool to use a pickup line, but I'm not. You're great.

The algorithm sent me a sapphic angel. I'd like to file a complaint and a request.

I matched with you and immediately googled 'cheesy sapphic pickup lines.' This is the result.

If sapphic apps gave me a wish, you'd be it.

The algorithm understood the assignment when it showed me your profile.

I think this app just peaked. It's all downhill after matching with you.

My thumb is tired from swiping, but you've given it a second wind.

Our match notification was the best alert my phone has gotten all week.

This app is 90% confusing bios and 10% you. I'm so glad I found the 10%.

I've been saving my best cheesy line for the perfect match. Looks like today's your day.

I see we matched, which means we're in the 'awkward first message' phase. I'll start.

I was going to try to be cool about matching, but I'm failing. You seem amazing.

My taste in women is clearly top-tier, since this app led me to you.

I'm blaming your excellent profile for my inability to think of a clever opener.

I think our profiles would look even better sitting next to each other on a date.

Okay, so the prophecy was true. The perfect woman does exist on dating apps.