Dirty pick up lines
that land like a good joke,
not a bad confession.

I'd help you with anything tonight. Anything anything. (That's flirting.)

My calendar's wide open this weekend. Just data.

I had plans for tonight. They got canceled. They got canceled because your profile loaded.

You look like you know how to handle things. Important things.

I'm trying to decide what to do tonight, and you're making it very difficult to concentrate.

I need someone to help me reach the top shelf. And other things.

I have a long to-do list for this weekend. Weirdly, you just made the cut.

You have a great smile. I have a feeling it gets you into all sorts of good trouble.

My friends say I should stay away from trouble. Is that going to be a problem for us?

I was going to suggest we get a coffee, but you look like you're more of a whiskey guy.

I bet you're the reason they say 'the good ones are always busy.' Are you busy this Friday?

You look like the kind of man who knows how to build a fire. That's a useful skill.

I like a man who can take the lead. What's our first move?

You look strong. Can you help me carry the weight of this conversation?

I'm an open book. But you might have to read a few chapters to get to the good parts.

My power is out. Want to come over and be a generator of bad ideas?

Quick question — what are you doing tonight? Two reasons.

Be honest, would you cancel your plans for the right text?

I have a slightly-bad suggestion for tonight. Want to hear it?

That hiking photo is amazing. Do you know any good trails that end at a pub?

Serious question: is that a one-person or two-person tent in your picture?

You seem to like climbing mountains. Are you up for a less vertical challenge this weekend?

So, what's harder: climbing that peak or figuring out the best way to ask me out?

If we were lost in the woods, what three things would you bring? Assume I'm already there.

Quick poll: what's the best post-hike meal? The correct answer is the one we get together.

Your bio says you love adventure. How adventurous are you on a scale of 1 to texting me back?

Are you any good at starting fires? Because you've definitely sparked my interest.

How attached are you to your weekend plans? Asking for a friend who wants to steal you.

That campfire photo looks cozy. Is there room for one more, hypothetically speaking?

Are you a park ranger? Because you're making me feel a little wild.

I'm going to be direct — your profile is the highlight of my day, possibly evening.

Polite opener prepared. Going with the less-polite version. Hi.

Your photos are affecting my afternoon decision-making. Reasonable effect. Hi.

You look like the type of guy who could fix anything. Let's start with my boring Friday night.

You seem like my favorite kind of trouble. Am I right about that?

You seem like you'd be a terrible influence on me. We should probably test that theory out.

You look like the hero of a movie I'd definitely want to watch. What's the plot for tonight?

You have a very distracting profile. Are you going to do something about it, or is it my turn?

You look like you're way more interesting than my to-do list. I'm waiting for you to prove it.

You have a 'make you stay up too late talking' vibe. Is my assessment accurate?

You seem like the perfect person to have a completely unproductive day with. Interested?

Confession — I've thought about your profile more than is statistically reasonable. Mostly reasonable thoughts.

Random confession — I rewrote this four times. Previous three were filthier.

I had a perfectly clean opener prepared. This one is less clean. Hi.

My honest first thought was, 'Oh, trouble.' My second thought was, 'Let's investigate.

I'm supposed to be working, but I've just spent five minutes staring at your profile. This is your fault.

I'll be honest, my grand plan was to play it cool. That plan has officially failed.

My dirty little secret is I'm much funnier in person. There's only one way for you to confirm.

I had a whole list of errands, but then I saw your profile. Confession: I've done none of them.

I must admit, out of all the mistakes I could make tonight, messaging you feels like the right one.

I'm aware leading with this is slightly inappropriate. The slight inappropriateness IS the move.

Disclaimer — I tend to send the cheekier version. This is that version.

I had four polite openers. None felt right. So you get the slightly dirty one.

Alert: A girl is actually messaging you first. Now what, hotshot?